Moving

Moving. Lord have mercy how I hate it. I am about to make my 7th move in six years, and that doesn't include me packing everything up to go to Spain for six months. I mean, you would think I would be a pro at it by now and you know what, you should be right. Everytime I tell myself I am not packing that shirt that I "think" I will wear again, or that sentimental high school dance team shirt or that 80's costume skirt I wore to a party five years ago. But yet, I can't seem to part ways with them. What if....I have a last minute party and need a skirt? Or what if, I decide one day to make a quilt from old shirts? Yep, I'm a pack rat, I'm that girl who keeps letters and cards from birthdays, even if it is just signed "Love you, Mom". I mean, it's a memory right? And in my mind, every memory is worth saving. I really am making an attempt to downsize every move I make. But, some things continue to be a wish. I am so looking forward to seeeing my things that have been in my POD since I tucked them away last January. It's almost like a treasure hunt as I unpack boxes. Hell, maybe I should have them drop the pod off at Goodwill on the way to my house to help sort out some of those "memories". But then again, maybe not.

First Dates

First Dates. It's a love/hate relationship. Always sounds like such a great idea, but then as the time gets closer, I begin to think of excuses to cancel. Anything- working late, electricity out, broken down car- any excuse. But, last night, I sucked it up and went on it. Well, let me be perfectly honest by saying I did text him two hours prior saying "I might have to call it an early evening because I have a lot of work to get done tonight". Lame, I know, but that was going to be my cop out. Anyway, I went through with it, and honestly, one of the best nights I have had in quite some time. Nothing fancy- actually, very casual, a few coronas, take-out sushi, watched "the reader" (great movie by the way) and finished the night with a great glass of wine. I think I had forgotten how great new people, new ideas and new perspectives can be. Next time, I will have more confidence and not frantically think of an excuse to get out of it. But, I probably still will have my pre-date beer, just to be sure. :)

I love Skirt! magazine and the cover this month couldn't be better.... "Home is pajamas straight from the dryer on the coldest night of winter and a roof that doesn't link during a rainstorm. It's food in the refrigerator and heat that works and this month's rent paid in full. It's Benjamin Moore Blue, porch light yellow a loose-change-in-the-sofa silver lining. It's the dog who thinks you invented walks and someone to share your late night thoughts. It's the evening news with a glass of wine and a slice of the moon in the window at bedtime, the shower that washes away work and the special mirror that makes you look taller before you leave the house. Home is the key left under the mat, your mother's phone number, the place you drive through the night to reach. It's where we find our belonging." I'm looking for my new home right now and I want nothing more than these words of Maya Angelou.

"You can dance anywhere, even if only in your heart."- Author unknown

Bruises. Bumps. Burns. Scrapes. And it is all so worth it. Six weeks ago, I started pole dancing classes. Yep, that's what I said. Pole dancing. I went to a bachelorette party back in the beginning of June and that's what we did, and now I am in love with my new hobby! So, I go twice a week and tighten my abs, beat up my knees, have burns on the top of my feet, but great calves from wearing heels all the time. No, it's not that crazy pole dancing like in Striptease or something. It's "fitness class". Seriously. It's the best workouts I've had in years. And it's liberating. Tonight, our instructor made us do individual 2 minute dances in front of the class. I was super nervous, but had a blast. So, I have signed up for another 6 week series and hope that is continues. Oh, and yes, we have recitals and a "pole meet" coming up. Just think a swim meet with a pole...:) Sorry no pictures!

"We Aquire the Strength we have Overcome"- Emerson

So, my new hobby...yep, pole dancing. I am LOVING it. I go every Monday night from 8:30-9:45 and feel so good when I leave. Now when I say enjoy, that does not necessarily mean it is easy. Oh no. In fact, last night was my first lesson on climbing. The past four weeks we have been working on spins and dances and such, but last night, we did the chair sit. Followed by the attempt to climb the pole. And let me just say, I have a new respect for strippers. The fact of the matter is that I need to work on my upper body strength. And, I got to the point where I was about two scoots from the top, but just couldn't do it. But that's ok. It just gives me motivation for when I go in for my practice session on Thursday. Forget the bruises on my leg. Or the internal bleeding mark (according to Shane) on my upper thigh. I will conquer that pole.

"There are very many people who read simply to prevent them from thinking." -G.C. Lichtenberg

In my multitudes of car trips this summer from one shower to another, followed by a bachelorette party, followed by a wedding here and there, I am now obsessed with books on cd. It takes everything to get me out of the car at night. It makes my mornings to listen to 5 minutes of a book, instead of trashy talk radio of the same top 40 song I’ve heard the past 4 mornings. I didn’t say they had to be great, thought provoking books, but entertaining and delightful. I am now on hour 9 of Danielle Steel’s Sisters and it has made me laugh and cry out loud. On my way into work this morning I got sad thinking that I was on the last cd and pretty soon the adventure of these 4 lovely sisters will be over, and then what am I left with? I guess another reason to travel to Cracker Barrel and get another one!

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." - Victoria Holt

Is it possible for the same heartbreak to resurface, time and time again? It’s like a scary movie…you know there something lurking around the corner and you do everything to avoid it and put it off, but in the end, you round the corner to pure devastation. Just doesn’t make sense. It’s really a lose/lose situation. You talk about it, you’re unhappy. You ignore it, you’re unhappy. You drink over it, you’re really unhappy. Time doesn’t help, distance doesn’t help, so what is the cure? I guess a mixture of all of the above. The most trying thing of all of it, is it is summer time, I am in the most beautiful city in the world, and yet, I am still unhappy. Scars that don’t go away serve as a constant reminder. At the end of the day, I go to bed and count my blessings for what and who I have. And also thank God for the memories both good and bad of the past. Heartbreak is like a leech- it slowly will suck the life out of you if you let it. But, if you put it in fresh water, it can’t handle to change of pure, clean refreshment, and will die and fall off. We all need to put ourselves in clean fresh water sometimes and wait for the pain to slowly drift away.